10/04/09

daily diminishing (day 100)

When I was in third grade, I began having what I’ve since learned were panic attacks. I hyperventilated, had to breathe into a brown paper bag and had chronic insomnia. I have very vivid memories of this time in my life, but still have not figured out why I was having these attacks. No one in my family seems to have any insight on this. I began to think that I was dying and when my friend gave me this paper figure – a Hallmark card – for my birthday that year, I wrote her a letter saying that I knew my parents were paying her to be my friend because I was dying. Eventually, my mom took me to my pediatrician who x-rayed my chest, showed me the x-rays that proved nothing was physically wrong with me, and then told my mom that he thought a good spanking would take care of the problem.

diminish102

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~ by cmclaurin on October 4, 2009.

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